The definition of “your enemy” is someone who is hostile or antagonistic to you. Technically, such hostility may hurt you depending on the “weapon” and your susceptibility to it. Enemies may hurt you whether they’re deliberate or not.
Remember. Only fearful, insecure, painful people hurt others.
Have you ever tried asking your enemy’s biggest fear? What makes them feel like they have to transfer their pain to others who are easiest to hit? Unlike cats in the same situation, your enemy is a human. They can share stories. And some people can verbalize their fears more easily than others.
Imagine someone that you don’t know asks you about your enemy because of a potential relationship. What would you answer? Would you warn that person by answering that your enemy is awful, horrible, or negative?
I’d answer with their biggest fear. Just that. No more. Because our fear manifests differently depending on the people we are interacting with.
“Please love him like when he was a baby.”
“Please don’t fire him.”
“Please love her like she were your only child.”
“Please hire her.”
“Please give him certainty.”
“Please give her your benefit of the doubt.”
That’s how you connect people with your former “close ones”. Let them figure out their own relationships.
Would you build the courage to ask your enemy’s biggest fear, or would you rather keep all the negative labels you’ve attached to them? What labels do is dehumanizing. By asking, you turn them into humans. And that is the first step to try practicing compassion.
Compassionate people are the courageous ones, indeed.
